Monday, December 31, 2007

It's Just Another New Year's Eve

Bottles of Champagnes, Beers and Bourbons

Red, White & Blue Balloons,

Caviars, Cigarettes and Cons.

New Year's Eve.

Baboons and Buffoons romp in smoke- filled rooms.

Anyway, if you want to drink and be merry tonight, DON'T DRIVE.

Treat your Lady to a night of romantic Carriage Ride in the snow and have those ice- cold Bud Light in hand instead...


Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Crap Mentality

Wanna know the reason why the Police took a long time to release the result of their very thorough investigation as to the exact origin of the Glorietta Mall Blast?

It was because of the pressure that they got from the Special Agents of the FBI who helped them gather the pieces of evidence in the blast site and want the report suppressed until they got clearance from their superiors in Quantico.

But the PNP Leadership in a rare show of defiance to Uncle Sam and probably bitten by the Patriotic Bug, released the result of their investigation anyway since they were afraid of the consequences that their findings will do to the lives of the more than 90 million Filipinos living here and abroad.

The PNP Leadership doesn’t want themselves to be caught literally and figuratively with their pants- down especially when it comes to National Security. They have learned their lessons from past experiences when all kinds of crap were thrown at them from all angles by angry Filipinos for every major Poop- pas (read- faux pas) that they committed . They want to redeem their image and the trust of the crappy Pinoy Nation.

And so they did the unthinkable and revealed that the explosion in Glorietta Mall was the result of methane gas accumulation in the basement of the high- end mall.

Since methane gas was found to be the primary culprit, Western Scientists and Terrorist Mad Doctors are now looking into the matter with rabid determination on how they overlooked this gas in the past and are now working double-time in an insane race to produce the newest and most destructive kind of weapon of mass destruction known to man.

And we all know that methane can be found in sh*t and it doesn’t help us Pinoys that the PNP ruled that the blast originated from a septic tank in the ground floor of the mall. It speaks volumes about the secret activities of the Zobel de Ayalas as well as about US.

In fact, now and more than ever, Filipinos are now being analyzed and scrutinized all over the world--From boarding airplanes to going to the bathrooms to shopping in supermarkets to dining in restaurants to our ethnic diets to every aspect of our daily gossiping lives, you can bet that Big Brother is watching our every move.

Suddenly the world took notice and is now on red alert, foreign governments now have drawn secret protocols to deal with all the Filipinos comings and goings in their respective countries. This is the dawning of a new age where the New World Order is now secretly called The Filipino Watch.

The recent kidnapping of 8 Filipino sailors by Somali Pirates is just the latest proof of these. For years these lawless elements were just contented on preying on small- time fishermen until one fateful day this year and now wants to join the ever- growing bandwagon. Thanks to satellite TV and the ever- present Media conglomerates.

They accidentally learned about the news in one of those daring raids they have mastered bordering on perfection, in this particular case on MV Yellow Submarine, a Liberian- registered fishing vessel in the high seas. The leader of the pirates while attending to a call of nature in the Captain’s Cabin was able to watch the hyperactive CNN correspondent reporting about the explosion in Makati City, in the Philippines.

He had an epiphany and decided to plunge into action when the chance arises. They know from experience that Filipino Seafarers inhabit the Seven Seas and so they seized the first ship that they saw and loo and behold got what they wanted.

Rumors has it that the Pinoy Crew Members were released unharmed not because the Philippine government paid ransom or one of the Superpowers threatened them to kingdom come. They were freed only after having all 8 of them Pinoy Seamen in their months of captivity somewhere in the Indian Ocean to take a sh*t in specialized containers complete with vacuum sealed covers that they’re planning to ship and sell to Iran wherein the present regime will run a test on the promise of this new material. It will also help in the process diffuse the flak the Iranians are getting nowadays because of their nuclear ambition in the volatile Middle East. Iran now thinks that they can ease the pressure by switching from a nuclear program to a new source of raw energy.

Even Japan who once upon a time sent a lot of container vans full of sh*t (e.g. adult & baby diapers) to the Philippines wants us to return the favor. The government should look into this and it’s probably in the recent Japan- Philippine Economic Partnership Agreement (JPEPA) proposals that they submitted. We should take advantage of this opportunity since its not easy to give the Japanese a lot of sh*t and be paid for it in the process. But expect the usual crap and opposition from the traditional Left like Ka Satur and his cohorts in the House of Representatives since they will say it will be disadvantageous for us selling our national treasures to Japanese Imperialists.

By the way, the Japanese are looking into testing and using our sh*ts as a valid alternative to the volatile nuclear wastes that they import and recycle from France to power their Industries as they take on the world in the next century.

But the French are not bitter about this since they know that they can sell more perfumes to the world because of this development. They just sigh in very Frenchy fashion and indifference to let them Japs have their sh*t and .....

In fact to the glee of the GMA administration, the French Government in cooperation with the House of Dior is in the process of donating thousands of surplus designer portable toilets to the Philippines that will help many Filipinos in the countryside who has no access to decent potty chairs while performing their daily rituals.

Our Spratly Islands playmate, China is still trying to figure out on how it seem that Pinoy sh*t have more power than Chinese sh*t. They’re doing some nerve- wracking experiments in Guandong on some hapless political prisoners as guinea pigs on why a diet of 3Bs (Balut, Betamax and Bagoong ) is more explosive than all the exotic ingredients that is the staple of Chinese Cuisine combined.

In fact, some enterprising Chinese are now manufacturing fake materials in knock-offs Abaca- laced aluminum drums labeled Pilipino Scraps in Szechuan for export to third world countries.

So, the modern Chinese Philosophy that if you can’t join ‘em, fake ‘em prevails, in this case. It is the Tao, the New Way of getting even with an upstart like the Philippines shaming a country that has prided itself of being the center of civilization that dates back to thousand of years.

The Arab Countries are also now worried and have issued edicts and decrees that all Filipinos toiling in the desert are obligated to take their shit in specialized crap bags to be handed over to the elements of their State Security every morning before they go to work in their vast oil fields. They’re actually doing everything in the labs find a way to sabotage the economic potential of the Pinoy Crap that will put the OPEC out of business with help from former East German and Soviet Scientists in their employ.

The Royal Houses are also wary of the priceless Pinoy crap falling into the wrong hands and have now imposed curfews on Filipinos working in their Kingdoms, Sultanates and Emirates since the CIA have uncovered documents in Iraq and Afghanistan that pertains to Osama Bin Ladin’s order to all Al Qaeda members to look, find and spirit away every Juan, Pedro and Andres that they could find wandering the sandy streets at night into the secret confines of their hideouts in the arid Arabian Deserts.

Reports coming from the sources of CNN veteran reporter Cra(p)stiane Amanfart that the terrorists are now studying the feasibility of making a more powerful and destructive alternative to the current Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) that they manufacture and use against the US- led Forces in Iraq that made many people in the White House’s Comfort Rooms uneasy. They’re testing a hybrid form of combining Camel’s droppings to the Pinoy poop.

The US Army are taking these reports seriously and are now conducting tests in their secret underground testing grounds in the Nevada Desert of the same materials that were scooped by their agents posing as Handymen from various Filipino Immigrants Households in Continental America. NASA Scientists have revealed that this Flip materials could fuel the sending of manned space missions to some galaxies far, far away in the not-so-distant future.

Even the Department of Homeland Security now has a directive that was recently relayed to the US Embassy in Manila that as a precondition of granting US Visas to Filipino applicants, they were made to swear under pain of revocation of their papers that they will have to empty their bowels first before boarding any aircraft bound for the United States as well as refrain from bringing materials into the US that can be use in the making of these potentially dangerous explosives. This did not sit well to many Filipino Tuyo, Balut and Bagoong smugglers.

From the looks of it, the Filipino sh*t due to its high - grade power potential and promising capabilities, is now a prized commodities in all the legal and illegal markets of the world. I now dare say, that the Pinoy’s sh*t is now the new uranium/ plutonium that will power the world to the future. It is now considered to be the new “gold” standard where all precious things will be measured.

The PNP investigators without them knowing it have just started the ball rolling for the world to engage in a dangerous poop race. Now, everybody wants a piece of us, yes everybody wants a piece of our sh*t.

And by that, I say, that when it comes to B-Shiting, WE Filipinos are up there with the best.

Note: Well, I’m really sorry folks, if this post is nothing but just a lot of B.S.

Poop Script: Hey, you people with the dirty minds, B.S. stands for Bill’s Sh*t, oks?

Monday, December 24, 2007

Hail India!

"If there is one place on the face of this Earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when Man began the dream of existence, it is India."

- Romain Rolland
French Philosopher 1886-1944

Click on
Indian Contribution to the World if you want to be enlightened...

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Geeks are No Freaks

I have reached my level of incompetence and I’m sure Mr. Peter whose Principle I first encountered when I was in high school two decades ago when I got hold of his book from Ol’ GrandPa’s bookshelf is probably grinning in his grave and probably saying, I told you so?!

You see, my desk top computer crashed and with it all my files gone kaput (or until I find my recovery discs from the heaps of CDs scattered all over the apartment) -- and with the meltdown goes thousands of my personal stuffs from pictures to writings to videos to music that dates back to about three years ago.

Damn Windows, I’ll probably switch to Mac. So, PC or Mac anyone?

Good thing I was able to back them up in my laptop, actually not all of them. But it's OK.

Some files I was able to save in CDs and some on-line. But it’s better than nothing, eh? Maybe it’s about time to buy an X- drive, huh?

Yeah, one of the reasons I made & maintain several websites was to back up my stuffs for free. Thus, I have several accounts with Blogspot, Tripod, Multiply, Photobucket, Picture Trail, My Dear Diary, Album Town and so on and so forth.

And they were up to the task and I thank the Geeks for that.

Meanwhile, please excuse me while I perform CPR on my CPU.

Note: Visit Mach & Me for a glimpse of the new $1.5 Million Limited Edition Lamborghini Reventon Supercar.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Leader of the Band

Believe In Me

If I could ever say it right
And reach your hostage heart
Despite the doubts you harbor
Then you might
Come to believe in me.

The life I lead is not the kind
That gives a woman peace of mind
I only hope someday you'll find
That you can believe in me.

Those other loves that
Came before
Mean nothing to me anymore
But you can never be quite sure
And will not believe in me.

Too many hearts have been broken
Failing to trust what they feel
But trust isn't something
That's spoken
And love's never wrong
When it's real.

If I could only do one thing
Then I would try to write and sing
A song that ends your questioning
And makes you believe in me.

Too many hearts have been broken
Failing to trust what they feel
But trust isn't something
That's spoken
And love's never wrong
When it's real.

If I could only do one thing
Then I would try to write and sing
A song that ends your questioning
And makes you believe in me
Oh, you can believe in me.

Dan Fogelberg

(1951- 2007)

Note: He was one of my favorite singers/ songwriters way, way back in time; when the acoustic guitar was my best friend; his songs were the staple in those endless drinking sessions with old friends outside our boarding house in Rawis, Legaspi City as well as while serenading some really lovely girls under the moonlight along the shores of Albay Gulf in the Philippines.

The Official Website of Dan Fogelberg

Friday, December 14, 2007

Odd Couple

Rustom Padilla & Carmina Villaroel

Separated at Birth? Nah, Separated in Life.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Don't Stop Believing

I first heard of the rumor that he will be Journey’s new lead singer several months ago. I was skeptical at first not because of his talent but because I never thought not even in my wildest dream that one of my favorite rock bands, Journey will pick somebody outside of the Continental United States much less a Filipino as their new lead singer.

It was the stuff of urban legends but it turned out to be true, in fact too good to be true--that it was guitarist Neal Schon who found him through YouTube and contacted him and invited him to audition for the band.

Here’s Neal Schon in his own words,

“I was frustrated about not having a singer,” explains guitarist Neal Schon, “so I went on YouTube for a couple of days and just sat on it for hours. I was starting to think I was never going to find anybody. But then I found The Zoo and I watched a bunch of different video clips that they had posted. After watching the videos over and over again, I had to walk away from the computer and let what I heard sink in because it sounded too good to be true. I thought, ‘he can’t be that good.’ But he is that good, he’s the real deal and so tremendously talented. Arnel doesn’t sound synthetic and he’s not emulating anyone. I tried to get a hold of him through YouTube and I finally heard from him that night, but it took some convincing to get him to believe that it really was me and not an impostor.”

And so Arnel Pineda, the lead singer of the Philippines' band The Zoo was named by Journey as their new lead singer on their website dated December 5, 2007.

He replaces Jeff Scott Sotto who parted ways with the band this year. Actually, from what I read in various online forums, Journey fans never really embraced him with Open Arms.

Although the band’s original lead singer, Steve Perry will never be equaled both in voice and in talent, let’s hope that Arnel can be at least up to par if not close enough to the standards that Mr. Perry had set for all the singers that will follow in his big, big footsteps.

The dawn of Arnel Pineda's journey to rock stardom begins…

Let's Hear Steve Perry's Faithfully one more time-

Hear Arnel Pineda's faithful cover of the same song with his band The ZOO

Take the journey to Unchanged Melodies for more.

Visit the Official Journey Website

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Booby Trap

Mary Carey, the Porn star who once challenged the Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenneger for the governorship of Cali-Foo-Nyaah is on the news again and she's planning to auction her recently removed breast implants for charity, the Breast Cancer Research.

How’s that for 15- minutes of Fame in the guise of a good cause, huh?

No, she’s not done with it though, she’s gunning for a bigger and better(?) pair of Bs from 36D to 36 DDDs. I don’t know what’s with some men err women in this case where they want to change their God- given assets to monstrous proportions and yet it’s not even that good nor better nor beautiful than its former size err self.

I guess we could put all the blame on Pamela Anderson for making Silicone implants the in- thing since her Boobwatch err okay, Baywatch days and Tommy Lee Sexcapades.

Heck, even Borat wants a piece of her cake and eat it too. We can’t blame him though for aiming for one of America’s iconic Bombshell. I’m sure it will benefit his movie sequel, this time his quest for Cultural Learning of America for Make Benefit of Glorious Nation of Kaboobsthan.

It’s just Melon-dramatic if you ask me of women who wants to aspire for a far Bigger Future than what nature has given them. To each her own I guess but I say just be thankful with what you have. As for me, I’ll always go for the natural. Peace!

Here’s an example on why breast implants should be banned…

New entries on--

Rhapsody in Black
Guitar Pick

Mach & Me
The Filipino Flash

Unchanged Melodies
Guitar Pick

Medicine Pearls
The Role of Antibiotics and Nasal Steroids in Acute Sinusitis

Monday, December 03, 2007

From Me to YOU

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.
~Graycie Harmon

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

~Honoré de Balzac


From your Prodigal Son. :)

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